THE ferociously private Prince Harry has written a bombshell memoir, “not as the prince I was born but as the man I have become”.
Oh dear. For as we all know, the once sparky, self-deprecating, favourite royal has morphed into the Fresh Prince Of Hot Air since he crossed the pond.
He has tapped into the money-making opportunities around hawking “his truth” to the highest bidder while piously lecturing everyone else on how to live their lives from his ivory (and probably gold-plated) tower in Montecito, California.
As yet, the title remains a secret, but Recollections May Vary must be a strong contender, along with Do As I Say, Not As I Do.
Either way, the possibility that this will be some wishy-washy tome about finding yourself, or how a bench brings people together (© Meghan Markle) has been excluded by the news that the publishers are reportedly paying him an eye-watering $20million.
He may be giving “the proceeds” (does that include the advance?) to charity, but believe me, no publisher pays that kind of money without the guarantee of some seriously hard-hitting revelations to make it fly off the shelves.
The press release describes it as “an intimate and heartfelt memoir from one of the most fascinating and influential global figures of our time” (stop laughing at the back) but, even though he’s probably had industrial quantities of smoke blown up his backside about how the world wants to hear his fascinating views on carbon emissions etc, that level of moolah will require a little more meat on the bone.
TAKING OWNERSHIP OF HIS OWN FAILINGS
“I’ve worn many hats over the years, both literally and figuratively, and my hope is that in telling my story — the highs and lows, the mistakes, the lessons learned — I can help show that no matter where we come from, we have more in common than we think,” says Harry.
Hmmm. Will one of those literal hats be the Nazi uniform he once donned for a fancy dress party? And will one of the mistakes be the time he called a fellow soldier his “little P**i friend”?
He failed to address both of these “lows” during the infamous “recollections may vary” interview with Oprah Winfrey, where self-pity appeared to be the over-riding sentiment, rather than taking ownership of his own failings.
Perhaps Harry withheld such titbits in the knowledge that they were part of the crown jewels in securing a big-money book deal and will take personal responsibility for them in print?
But up to now, Harry’s default setting seems to have been that whatever mistakes he has made in his life have been the fault of someone, or something, else. His father, the death of his mother, the palace system, whatever.
So chances are he’ll once again throw other members of the Royal Family under the bus — knowing that their “never complain, never explain” ethos means any on-the-record rebuttal of his claims is unlikely.
The burning question is: How much longer is The Queen going to allow Harry to exploit his royal connections while simultaneously claiming to be a private citizen? At 95, perhaps she just wants the quiet life. But what of her son and heir, Prince Charles?
Recent reports say that, despite his late father wanting the title of Duke of Edinburgh to go to Prince Edward, the future king has decreed it is unlikely as part of his vision for a slimmed-down monarchy.
So surely Prince Charles needs to find the same resolve in tackling the thorny issue of the “Duke and Duchess of Sussex” capitalising on their titles?
In the meantime, perhaps the rest of us could all give Prince Harry the privacy he claims to crave by leaving his “intimate and heartfelt” memoir on the shelf.
Truth is as ugly as Cinderella sisters
IT’S the hope that kills you. After months (or is it years?) of being promised “freedom day”, it has turned out to be yet another damp squib from a government with leadership skills as disheveled as the PM’s hairdo.
Freedom to do what, exactly?
Go on holiday to France? Nope. Not unless you want to pay a squillion pounds being ripped off by private testing companies while simultaneously fretting about any other chosen destination being placed on the red list the second you arrive there.
Go to the theatre? Not if you were planning to attend Andrew Lloyd Webber’s new West End production of Cinderella this week, because someone with a cameo role has tested positive for Covid and, despite everyone else testing negative, it has had to close down until further notice.
Lord Lloyd-Webber says: “The impossible conditions created by the blunt instrument that is the Government’s isolation guidance mean we cannot continue.”
It’s the same story with the half a million people currently off work after being pinged, including train drivers and border staff, which has resulted in absolute chaos at stations and airports.
Meanwhile, food producers and lorry drivers are being pinged at such a rate that shop shelves are critically low of certain products and even supermarket giant Iceland is having to close stores.
“How ironic that Freedom Day should also be a new low point for us and many other British businesses which have striven heroically to keep the show on the road for the past 18 months,” wrote Iceland’s MD Richard Walker in The Sun today.
‘NEW LOW POINT FOR US’
Quite. The country feels rudderless and, consequently, chaotic. The heatwave doesn’t help the overall mood of burning frustration at the lack of leadership.
Tony Blair (remember him?) says the Government is being contradictory in applying a zero-risk strategy, which has led to the “pingdemic”, in some instances despite having adopted a managed risk stance since the pandemic started. He’s absolutely right.
Covid isn’t going away and we have to manage the risk while learning to live with it.
The vaccination was trumpeted as our ticket to freedom, yet despite nearly 82million doses already administered, even the double jabbed still have one hand tied behind our backs.
Boris’s former right-hand man Dominic Cummings recently described him as “a shopping trolley smashing from one side of the aisle to the other”.
Now the wheels aren’t just wobbly, they are coming off.
What, no baggage, Naomi?
NAOMI CAMPBELL has been photographed pushing the pram of her newborn daughter, looking every inch the stunning supermodel she is.
But where, pray tell, is the baby bag, stuffed full of wet wipes, feeding bowl, rusks, creams, baby bottle, formula, various distracting toys, papoose, plastic bib, teething implements, several nappies and a full change of clothes?
Something tells me that, just out of shot, there’s a top- notch nanny bearing that particular burden.
Maxi’s tort a lesson
AFTER scaling a 12in fence and spending a year on the missing list, Maxi the tortoise has been found by dog walkers in a field less than a mile from his Wiltshire home.
It is the second time he’s escaped from owner Ruaidhri Jukes, 23, after previously going AWOL for nine months.
Only a hunch but, just like the rest of us, perhaps Maxi is yearning to be permanently released from captivity?
Civil servant go home plea
CIVIL servants have been “urged” to return to the office for four days a month from September.
No, that’s not a misprint.
So, the next time you have to take the week off from your job to sit on hold waiting for someone to answer your call about the bins/parking/planning/council tax, you’ll know why.
AN American woman is suing Airbnb after she was attacked while staying in one of its rental properties.
The outcome remains to be seen, but in the meantime, the internet giant might also tackle the fake villas being advertised on its platform as a way of trying to extract money from people for a property that doesn’t actually exist.