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‘And I Want Your Tie Too,’ Says Sinema, Giving Biden Conditions Of Her Support For Bill


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WASHINGTON—Pulling no punches in her negotiations with the president, Sen. Kyrsten Sinema (D-AZ) demanded Joe Biden’s tie as one of the conditions for her support of the Inflation Reduction Act, sources confirmed Wednesday. “Look, what I’m trying to say is that I’m not opposed to closing the carried interest loophole, but that tie is a pretty nice color, and I think I’d like to have it,” said Sinema, who reportedly appeared pleased as she watched the president raise his hands to his collar, undo the top button of his shirt, and begin to loosen the necktie. “What is this? Silk? Thanks. I’ve always been a sucker for stripes. And you know, while we’re at it, I want to work out of the Oval Office for a couple of months. I’d offer to let you use my Senate office, but I’m sure you can find another space. Oh, and I’m going to need your jacket, too. Why? Because I’m your God, that’s why. Did you just fucking flinch?” At press time, a nude Biden had announced he was making significant progress with the senator.

 

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