RALEIGH, NC—Emphasizing that he was simply on the lookout for a pleasant pup to provide a quiet, loving residence, childless uncle Frank Felton reportedly introduced his plans Tuesday to get a 3rd extremely fucked up canine. “Effectively, I’ve had Ginger right here for 14 years, and Coco for 16, so I feel whoever I undertake would match proper in,” mentioned Felton, who then confirmed reporters a number of purposes for potential canines who have been blind, incontinent, arthritic, aggressive, lacking an eye fixed, required costly medicines, or solely had three legs. “Hell, Ginger solely has three tooth left and may’t management her rattling bladder. And Coco has some sort of dementia, and bites me each time I attempt to pet her. Oh! I just like the look of that deaf Chihuahua with a pores and skin illness. I feel I’ll name her Pippa.” At press time, Felton had already began a $15,000 GoFundMe for the canine, who ate one in all his socks and instantly had a seizure.