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Disney World Fortifies Borders With Armed Characters As Park Announces Plan To Secede From Florida

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ORLANDO, FL—Asserting that the 25,000-acre resort was now formally part of the impartial and sovereign Reedy Creek Enchancment Republic, Disney World was reportedly fortifying its borders with armed characters Monday because the theme park shared its plan to secede from Florida. “Florida can attempt to dissolve our authorities all they need, however I guarantee you, we’re not going wherever,” stated a forged member dressed as Mickey Mouse, who hoisted a Walt Disney World Flag excessive above Cinderella’s fort as Queen Elsa positioned a bandolier round her chest, and Captain Jack Sparrow helped Chip ‘n’ Dale board up and barricade Foremost Road, U.S.A. in preparation for the lengthy siege forward. “You’ve left us no different selection, Governor DeSantis. You’ll be able to take this Magical Kingdom from our chilly, lifeless our bodies. We’ll discover glory in dying, and as we enterprise onward to Valhalla, we’ll revel within the flames of battle realizing we’ve fought for the liberty of the happiest place on earth.” At press time, over 10,000 reinforcements from Anaheim have been en path to the Florida park.

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