Hollywood

Mark Zuckerberg Asks Hawaiian Neighbor To Cut Down Unsightly, Overgrown Rainforest

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KAUAI, HI—Rising more and more pissed off by the dearth of respect proven to his 1,500-acre property, Mark Zuckerberg reportedly requested his Hawaiian neighbor this week to chop down the ugly, overgrown rainforest encroaching his property. “It’s unfair that there’s this gigantic cover of native timber utterly obstructing my lovely view of the horizon,” mentioned Zuckerberg, including that the realtor failed to say that the neighbor had an unkempt biome on their property. “That entire pure habitat over there’s a actual eyesore. I’ve made a number of complaints to the HOA concerning the messy old-development timber subsequent door, however I haven’t heard a peep, so I lastly simply needed to ask him immediately. I don’t imply to be a nag, however the factor is the rainforest doesn’t simply block the view—it additionally attracts a ton of disgusting nuisances like bugs, wild animals, and indigenous individuals. So hopefully, now that we’ve spoken, they’ll get all of it cleared out by the top of the week.” At press time, a fed-up Zuckerberg was sneaking onto the property in the course of the evening to demolish the neighbor’s loud, obnoxious waterfall that was conserving him awake.

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