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NASA Slammed For Selecting U.S. Company To Build Rocket On Mars Rather Than Local Martian Engineers

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WASHINGTON—NASA is reportedly facing a backlash Tuesday after selecting U.S.-based contractor Lockheed Martin to build a new rocket that will bring back samples from Mars, with critics arguing that the space agency should have hired local Martian engineers to do the job. “This would have been a brilliant way to revitalize the Red Planet’s economy by creating good-paying jobs for out-of-work Martian scientists, aerospace engineers, and other skilled laborers,” said Amnesty International spokesperson Morgan Heffrin, who noted that locals have far more knowledge and experience when it comes to building a spacecraft like NASA’s proposed Mars Ascent Vehicle, which must be capable of ascending through the Martian atmosphere for a return journey to Earth. “Unfortunately, NASA missed out on this great opportunity. When loading up and carting away rock, sediment, and atmospheric samples from a planet, it would seem appropriate to give something back to the native inhabitants. But instead, it’s just business as usual at NASA.” A press time, sources confirmed a plan to sabotage the Mars Ascent Vehicle was being hatched by the mysterious and ancient civilization of space worms that lives deep beneath the surface of Mars.

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