The Onion’s Guide To Web3

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Web3 is being called the future of the internet. But what is Web3, exactly? The Onion explains.

Q: What is Web3?
A: The next iteration of the internet, Web3 will decentralize power from big tech companies and give it to individual big tech billionaires.

Q: How can I get Web3?
A: Sign up now to receive a 100-hour free trial on CD-ROM.

Q: What’s wrong with Web 2.0?
A: Earlier iterations of the internet have nearly zero exploitative value left.

Q: How could Web3 help address poverty in developing nations?
A: Pass.

Q: How will news sources like The Onion cover Web3 effectively? 
A: You’ll probably be able to buy NFTs of your favorite news headlines in a few years.

Q: I’m concerned about internet privacy. Will Web3 prioritize—
A: No. Nope. We’ll stop you right there. No.

Q: What’s next, Web4??
A: Whoa. Damn, you’re good. You know, you might really be onto something here.

Q: When will Web3 complete its transition from the savior of the internet to the worst thing that ever happened to the internet?
A: Sometime in 2026.

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