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Worst Career Advice Baby Boomers Give Millennials

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“Tell employers that you’re pretty good friends with Van Morrison.”

“Tell employers that you’re pretty good friends with Van Morrison.”

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That’s going to open way fewer doors than a boomer thinks.

“Two words: fax machines.”

“Two words: fax machines.”

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The fax machine comeback is not due to arrive for another six years at least.

“You think I liked my job? No, I hated it. Every day was worse than the last, and when I finally retired, I had forgotten about everything that once brought me joy.”

“You think I liked my job? No, I hated it. Every day was worse than the last, and when I finally retired, I had forgotten about everything that once brought me joy.”

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Was there advice in there?

“You have to find the biggest guy in the office and fight him on your first day.”

“You have to find the biggest guy in the office and fight him on your first day.”

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Dad often confuses his time in real estate with the years he spent in prison.

“Impress the interviewer with your personal recollections of the JFK assassination.”

“Impress the interviewer with your personal recollections of the JFK assassination.”

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Millennials have their own traumas to exploit.

“Always bring several HoneyBaked Hams to a job interview.”

“Always bring several HoneyBaked Hams to a job interview.”

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Not only is it a pain to bring a spiral-cut ham for each interviewer, but it often goes uneaten or is thrown in the trash.

“Just go into the boss’s office and demand a job!”

“Just go into the boss’s office and demand a job!”

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Boomer’s are so out of touch with today’s work environment that they have no idea that you’d probably get shot if you did this.

“Work hard.”

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This will only be used against you.

“Look at them straight in the eyes and say, ‘Dad, I want a promotion.’”

“Look at them straight in the eyes and say, ‘Dad, I want a promotion.’”

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Fortune favors the bold.

“Start a SoundCloud account, and when you get enough streams, challenge Jake Paul to a boxing match.”

“Start a SoundCloud account, and when you get enough streams, challenge Jake Paul to a boxing match.”

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SoundCloud may have been a more attainable way to make a living when boomers were young, but they fail to realize the platform has gotten much more crowded in recent years.

“Show a little leg.”

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If you’re not going to fully commit to nudity, don’t half-ass it in front of your boss.

“You’re so handsome you could be a model.”

“You’re so handsome you could be a model.”

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Okay, we’re pretty sure your grandmother was just being nice.

“Be the first to arrive and the last to leave.”

“Be the first to arrive and the last to leave.”

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This just doesn’t work when the 24 Hour Fitness never closes.

“Fight them in France, fight them on the seas and oceans, fight them with growing confidence and growing strength in the air! Fight them in the fields and in the streets, fight them in the hills; never surrender! Never surrender.”

“Fight them in France, fight them on the seas and oceans, fight them with growing confidence and growing strength in the air! Fight them in the fields and in the streets, fight them in the hills; never surrender! Never surrender.”

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This might have made sense in the ’40s, but now it’s just going to make you look out of touch.

“Start an iconic, multimillion-dollar ice cream brand with your hippie friend, like me.”

“Start an iconic, multimillion-dollar ice cream brand with your hippie friend, like me.”

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Not everything is going to be that easy, unfortunately.

“Just wait another 27 years for me to retire, and then you can have my job.”

“Just wait another 27 years for me to retire, and then you can have my job.”

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Ideally, most millennials would prefer to wait less than 27 years before getting a job.

“List President Dwight Eisenhower as a reference on your résumé.”

“List President Dwight Eisenhower as a reference on your résumé.”

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Unfortunately, Ike’s recommendations no longer carry the same weight they might have for previous generations.

“Roll on your back to demonstrate to your superiors that you’re not a threat.”

“Roll on your back to demonstrate to your superiors that you’re not a threat.”

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This advice will help show you’re deserving of belly rubs and head pats, but is otherwise not helpful in the modern workplace.

“If you save $5, you can afford a house.”

“If you save $5, you can afford a house.”

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Good luck finding a house that costs less than $17.

“Name your company Google. Nobody has done that.”

“Name your company Google. Nobody has done that.”

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Actually, there is a very famous company named Google that’s widely known to many younger individuals.

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